Being a mummy is hard work all the time. I’ve always enjoyed been a mummy and wouldn’t change it for the world. The only ones I struggle and when I get hardly any sleep. When my son was a baby, he would only sleep an hour and a half then up for a bottle again. After 6 months I used to get other mummy’s saying ‘oh mine sleeps through now, have you tried X, or X’

I really wanted to snap and say I’d tried anything and nothing was working so I didn’t need it rubbing in my face that your angel sleeps through all night!! Instead, being the person I am I thanked them for the advice and went home to cry!!

I felt like I was doing nothing but cry! I cancelled my social life most the time and didn’t even want to go out the house. I was so tired I sometimes didn’t even know how to function! But I still had to go to work for a 12 hour day!! I was so run down and my husband tried to give me a rest on a weekend but he couldn’t carry him so sat on the floor with him to feed him but as soon as he cried I woke.

After a year we tried even more things but he was still waking between 3-5 times a night. He did however have a week where he slept through every night!!! It was bliss and I felt so much better!! (Even though my body woke me up in the night and I had to check on him)

He’s now 2, guess what? He’s still not sleeping through. I have a single mattress on his floor at the moment trying him to get to sleep in his own room again (as he’s been in our bed poorly for 3 weeks) he’s woken 3 times a night the past 3 nights and that scream and cry makes me so sad!

I know my family and friends understand most the time why some nights I just can’t be bothered to do anything!! (Although I am always doing something) but I do feel when you become a mummy your life changes forever, you loose friends, you loose yourself, and you loose control sometimes (a few weeks ago I was that tired I got in the back of my car and looked for the steering wheel!)

As a Mum, we carry on!! I still smile and take any advice given, I still get up with him during the night so my hubby doesn’t have to. I still love my family and friends (even if I don’t speak everyday) I am still me!! I just have a bigger priority right now.

I hope one day I will be the one giving advice to someone else about how to get your baby to sleep! But for now! The mattress on the floor will do for us. X

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