Working,stress,family!

I’ve had it drilled into me since about 8 years old. If you don’t work you done get nice things. As I approached working age my dad helped me get a job and I became an apprentice working towards my NVQ in administration with a commercial repair garage. I always wanted to own my own business either in transport or a garage of my own. After years of been in employment   I started my transport/courier business and it took off really quick, I was working day and night and it sometimes meant just nipping home for an hours sleep and back on the road! After a year I realised I needed to be home more, so I took over my dad’s commercial garage and I’ve owned that for 5 and a half years. 

Due to my husbands amputation, he’s struggled to keep a job that doesn’t irrate his stump, he’s a trained HGV mechanic (that’s how we met, he was my dad’s apprentice) he’s been a truck driver too, but that made his stump so sore, he came onboard with our family business last year, he loves been back in the workshop and he loves that people ask HIM for help again rather than walk straight past him because he only has one leg ‘he can’t know what he’s doing’ he’s more upbeat about going to work, I love seeing his eyes light up when he talks about work. 

The downside is that we are a small family business and if we don’t do work when it’s there, we don’t get paid. Simple. 

Work is so busy at the moment though, that our quality time as husband and wife is grabbing a quick bite to eat in the office while talking about work, with my dad too. He’s been working so many hours 5-9 at night some nights and in the past month he’s had 2 days off 😦 

While I work around my mums shifts so she can look after our little boy, I spend a lot of time working from home. It can be a struggle. 

As everything in our life we want our children to grow up like we did and value money, have respect, work hard and know your doing it for the end result! To provide for your family. 

So when people wonder why they don’t see much of us sometimes, the chance when we DO get a Sunday together we like to spend it just the 3 of us and the dog and make everlasting memories 😘❤️ 

Loosing weight 

As a lot of my readers know, I am currently doing the slimming world programme. I have been doing it 6 weeks and lost 1 stone in total! I’m so proud of what I’ve achieved in a short space of time, sometimes being a mummy to a little boy who’s needy, a wife of an amputee that needs my attention, and a business owner, it’s been so easy to put myself and my needs to the back and concentrate on everything else. Joining slimming world has been pretty easy and ment I can still do my usual daily routines, still look after the people and things I need to but also be a healthy living family and actually enjoy cooking, I always seem to be ‘snacking’ but when you make healthy choices it can mean you can do this while looking after yourself. Don’t get me wrong! There will be weeks where I can’t be bothered and sometimes no matter how hard you try sometimes life in general can take over and will mean I can’t pick the right things, but 90% of the time my eating habits have changed for the better and I’m so looking forward to my next award (1 and a half stone) you can see my meals etc on my Instagram posts @sw_wife_of_an_amputee_2017  

😘 xx

Summer days 

We all love the summer, the days where the sun is beaming down, the heat makes us feel like we are on holiday, the tea in the garden just because we can! The places we walk to because it’s sunny and the car doesn’t need to go out in this heat. The way everyone else is happy because the suns out and you find everyone will talk to you. 

(Unless your at work all day that is) Those days where we can’t wait to get home after a day that seems longer than normal, that day where there aren’t enough windows in the office, you don’t even have the energy to go get another drink to cool you down, you can’t be bothered to ring those customers who you know are prob going to be sat outside in the sunshine saying how lovely it is and that famous saying ‘we can’t complain’ or ‘enjoy it while it lasts’ knowing as soon as you get home you think about having tea in the garden, maybe go for a stole, when really you walk through the door collapse on the sofa or bed after stripping off and fan yourself complaining it’s far to warm to work! Hoping you can make it through the rest of the week and enjoy the weekend off (where it will prob rain at some point) Wishing for the weather to cool down (just in time for us to complain it’s too cold and wish for those lovely summer days) British weather and true British people complaining about the weather no matter what……we will always ‘enjoy’ these summer days ☀️ 

The pressure of breastfeeding 🍼

When I was pregnant with my little boy, I decided I was going to breastfeed him (well I didn’t know if he was a boy or girl at this point) I knew I wanted to give my baby ‘the best start in life’ I kept reading everywhere that ‘breast was best’ it gave baby the best nutritions and helped their brain, it was better bonding time too, it was all positive comments. What it NEVER mentions online is that it hurts, it can cause bruising, baby can bite you, it can be sore for days, breastfeeding can reduce you to tears! 

Most new mummy’s are pressured into breastfeeding, I remember saying to a midwife, I’m going to try and breastfeed….before I could finish her reply was ‘if you WANT to do it, you WILL’ I didn’t speak much that appointment, my previous midwifes were lovely and gave me all the leaflets, what to do if you were Considering  it, how to help yourself, to help baby. Suddenly I felt like I had no choice! I had to do it! I wanted to…so I had to do everything I could to do it. 

When baby arrived, I tried, the midwives were so helpful and guided me through every step, a few times they asked if I would consider giving him a bottle but that wasn’t an option in my head..’breast is best!’ The first 3 days were awful, he wouldn’t latch, he wouldn’t stay in the same position, he was biting and I bruised a lot! I was so sore, thinking ‘it’s worth it’ it’s best for baby!! On the 4th day I tried him again and I couldn’t bare him even near my boobs, it was black and blue, I cried, a lot!! I didn’t want to call the midwife or my husband, I felt a failure, I couldn’t give my child ‘the best’ he wouldn’t develop like breast fed babies! I can’t bond with him properly…everything was going through my mind! 

I sobbed my heart out to this little human being laid in my arms, this little human that was relaying on me! He was relying on me to look after him, to give him the best in life, to not let him down! My husband walked in and asked what was wrong and I cried and told him.  He said it was ok, it was nothing to worry about, I had given our little boy the best already and I was not letting him down. 

I called the midwife and they gave me a bottle to give him. I was so much less stressed, I knew how much milk he was getting, surely him being fed through a bottle was better than not being fed at all!! I wasn’t sore (well after a while I wasn’t) I still got to bond with him while feeding, often feeding skin to skin just to give him that extra bond. My husband got to feed him and have this amazing bond too! 

Breastfeeding is stressful and as a working mum who went back to full time work within a month of having him, i soon realised breast wasn’t best for OUR family at that time. No mother should feel pressured to or not to breastfeed. It started with ME wanting to try it, and ended on him on bottles. 

If your lucky enough to breastfeed, I salute you, it’s hard, but even if you bottle feed, I salute you too…it’s not about all you see in headlines what’s BEST. You do what’s BEST for you and your family! My little boy will always have the best life! He is loved, fed well and our little treasure! (I’m not saying don’t breast feed or don’t give it a go) with my next child I will try again, but this time I won’t be made to feel like a failure if I can’t do it! I did BREAST, then I did what was BEST. 🍼

The mummy side of life. 

Everyone whose a mummy will understand the daily struggles, the rushing around, the paddy your children make if you get the wrong food out for them, or the wrong cup, the NEVER going to the bathroom alone again until there about 7! Single mums, mums with partners who work away, I respect you, doing all this by yourself, it’s hard!! It’s tiring, mentally draining and sometimes it’s comes at a price of not socialising too. Being a wife of an amputee, who can’t have a prosthetic, it’s hard, most days I feel like a mother of 3! My dog, little boy and my husband! I know it’s not really his fault, but some days, once Ive done the daily chores, sorted the never ending washing, sorted childcare out for my little boy while I go to work, come home to more chores including cooking tea, I do 99.9% nappy changes as my husband struggles to get back up of the floor, I do all the cooking, cleaning, washing, run the baths (yes for my husband too) and walked the dog, i feel like I live a single parent lifestyle I just have  someone to snuggle with at night. It’s so hard, but what makes it worth while? The smiles I see on their faces (even the dog sometimes) when they do play together, or when we’re spending family time on a Sunday, the days my little boy started saying ‘mummy’ and just last night! ….when my husband got into bed and said ‘I’m proud of what you do’ that’s all I need to keep me going 😘 single mums, mums with husbands or partners that do share the chores, mums with partners who work away, I salute you all, it’s hard work but we do it! Stay strong! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Weight loss 

I’ve joined my local weight loss group and in 3 weeks I have lost 9.5 lbs! Just another 46 to go! I’m super excited, it doesn’t feel like I’m on a diet, it’s a lifestyle change for me and my family.  I’ve grown up larger than I should be, but only slightly. I lost weight once I left school and started working, but kept an average size. After my husbands accident, through no choice of our own, we both lost a huge amount of weight! We looked ill (well obviously my husband was!) the picture on this paragraph was at our thinnest.  After the accident, excessive was non exsistant in our family, it took all my husbands energy to hop upstairs never mind going for a walk. At first we were limited as he was in a wheelchair so he did no excersise. We ate out quite a lot, and we both put on a fair few stone each, we both became much bigger than we wanted to be. It was starting to get us down but we couldn’t stick to any diets. We decided to start diet drinks and it worked as a quick weight loss for our wedding, but afterwards the weight piled back on. I have done this journey before, and lost a stone and a half before getting pregnant and giving in. It was the worst mistake I made, I’m back on it now! You can follow my Instagram and Facebook for pictures of the meals I make! They are super filling and so yummy! We’re a healthier family and working towards our goals! We can do this! ❤️

Tired and teared ❤️

I live my life at 100mph always doing something, I like to life with routine so I know where I am,04:50 this morning, my little boy woke up, ready for the day ahead, no matter how many stories, dvds I tempted him with (we’ve all done it to get that extra hour) he wouldn’t stop crying until I let him play! My day has ended up in me being moody, snappy and not concentrating, my little boy however has been great! (He has had a 2 hour nap). I have just sat down and I could just burst into tears. I’m tired but the thought of going to bed isn’t helping for some reason. Some people say we get to a point where we are overtired? Don’t you think it’s crazy how a couple of hours less sleep in one night can mess your whole day up and make you feel less human? ❤️